The memorial service was today. We got there just in time. We picked up George, one of James's best friends, 10 minutes before the service was scheduled to start. I tried to drive recklessly to save us a few minutes, but traffic was such that only total emergency recklessness would have helped. The music started moments after we'd slid from a side pew right up close. It was hot. The bearded Bolinas preacher got pretty heavy into the Jesus stuff. He said Jesus knows everyone by name and proves it to each of us when we die. I figured James would be mischievously amused if he bumped into Jesus, and Jesus called him James. Especially if Jesus were wearing robes, a beard, and long, brushed, dirty blonde hair when he did it. The heat seemed to be blasting out my collar and sleeves. Fire more than sweat. Jackets and ties didn't last long at the reception. The reception itself did, however. Hours. Sam, another one of James's best friends, played guitar and sang. He's been heavy into folk music the past couple of years. Before that, he was all about lead guitar, screaming solos. He couldn't help but light into those acoustic strings a few times today. James would have loved it. After some people flew away, we went back, changed out of what was left of our suits and dresses, pulled dripping beers from yesterday's coolers, and ate leftover lasagna. And laughed. Eventually, James's cd came on. We paused and listened hard for the last few songs. A lonely jazz piano let us know that we'd moved on to the next album, that we ought to start thinking about sleep.
I didn't see the rose petals today. I think they must have been a part of the burial. I trust they did their job well, whatever it was.
One of James's aunts handed me a rose last night and told me to think good thoughts while I pulled the petals and helped fill the baskets. I decided each petal should get its own good thought. And I took my time. I thought about stars and rhyme and love between brothers, about our minds, our imaginations, our ability to make up games. It was overwhelmingly fun, every second of it, and that was strange, given the circumstances, but I guess not that strange.
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